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     Silver Locket

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    SarahBear
    fluffy member
    fluffy member


    Posts : 238
    Join date : 2010-07-09

    PostSubject: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 18, 2010 3:38 am



    Its about 2 girls who are on hoilday and they find a sliver locket and when
    they discover something about the locket they wished they never kept it..



    Once upon a time in South Carolina 2 girls called Zoey and Abby were on the phone.
    Hi Zoey
    Hi Abby
    Wanna come sleep at mine Abby?
    Sure Zoey.
    Bye Abby
    Bye Zoey

    The phone got turned of and Zoey ran upstairs to sort her room out.
    She made some nice food and got lots of fun stuff for them to do.The doorbell rang Zoey's big sister let Abby in.Abby went upstairs to Zoey's room.

    Zoey Zoey abby shouted i am going on hoilday tomorrow so i cant sleep but your coming on hoilday with me i think ask your mom first.
    Zoey ran down to her mom
    Mom please can i go on hoilday with Abby?
    Fine said mom but pack your bags,Abby help her pack her bags.Abby packed Zoey's bag for her while Zoey found her favourite teddy and her cell phone.
    Abby and Zoey walked to Abbys house.1 hour later they were there.

    Chapter 2
    Abby's room was gigantic and full of pink and glamours sunglasses.
    Zoey's room was just all small basically the size of a closet.
    When Abby's mom got Zoey and Abby to sleep she was packing her bag.Her Mom and Dad were having a chat about Zoey being away from her mom and dad.
    Abby's dad said She must not have been that scared she wanted to come.
    It was morning now and they were on the plane.

    Abby and Zoey sat next to each other and in front of Zoey was Miley Cryus and Noah Cryus.They went crazy because the both girls love Miley Cryus and Noah.

    Chapter 3
    They arrived at New Mexico,When they were at the beach they were swimming a shark come... Zoey ran quickly as she could be abby was no were to be seen
    Zoey happended to find a silver locket



    Last edited by SarahBear on Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:21 am; edited 3 times in total
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    Lillybearathlete1
    rockin' officer
    rockin' officer
    Lillybearathlete1

    Posts : 2308
    Join date : 2010-03-24
    Location : USA! :D

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:32 am

    It's a great story.
    When writing a story put the character's dialogue in " and ".
    Also, a suggestion would be to add more adjectives to your summary so that it makes people want to read your story.
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    Mousie
    pawsome poster
    pawsome poster
    Mousie

    Posts : 1407
    Join date : 2010-03-24
    Location : E-N-G-L-A-N-D-!

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:56 am

    Yay, my name! Razz
    Great story, I like it!
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    SarahBear
    fluffy member
    fluffy member


    Posts : 238
    Join date : 2010-07-09

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:43 am

    Lillybearathlete1 wrote:
    It's a great story.
    When writing a story put the character's dialogue in " and ".
    Also, a suggestion would be to add more adjectives to your summary so that it makes people want to read your story.

    When it gets more into the story i will!
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    HannahGemFriend30
    Administrator
    Administrator
    HannahGemFriend30

    Posts : 2080
    Join date : 2009-06-06
    Location : Wonderland

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 18, 2010 12:39 pm

    Cool Story Sarah! Can't Wait to hear more!

    _________________



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    Rose
    building bunny
    building bunny
    Rose

    Posts : 42
    Join date : 2010-07-23

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:58 am

    Great story Sarah
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    priscillaballerina31
    overstuffed bear
    priscillaballerina31

    Posts : 3453
    Join date : 2010-03-11
    Location : somewhere over the rainbow

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:52 pm

    Great story so far Sarah. Keep on practicing your writing skills.
    I can't wait to hear more.
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    JustinGuitarhero
    building bunny
    building bunny
    JustinGuitarhero

    Posts : 80
    Join date : 2010-10-23
    Location : At my cabin in Camp half blood!

    PostSubject: Re: Silver Locket   Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:24 pm

    Pawsome story!
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