1.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Audrey!
Audrey who?
Audrey be doing this! Joke #1
2.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Augusta!
Augusta who?
Augusta go home now! Joke #2
3.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aunt Lou!
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Lou do you think you are! Joke #3
4.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ashley!
Ashley who?
Ashley-t's foot! Joke #4
5.Knock Knock
Whos there?
Shelby.
Shelby who?
Shell be coming round the mountain when she comes. joke #5
6.Knock Knock
Who's there !
B-2 !
B-2 who ?
B-2 school on time ! joke #6
7.Knock Knock
Who's there !
Banana !
Banana who ?
Banana split so ice creamed ! joke #7
8.Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana ? joke #8
9.Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bless !
Bless who ?
I didn't sneeze ! joke #9
10.Knock Knock
Who's there !
Blue !
Blue who ?
Blue your nose ! joke #10
11.Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
No bell, that's why I knocked! joke #11
12.Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Leaf
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone! joke #12
13.Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome! joke #13
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Why are you asking? joke #14
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita a tissue! Ah Choo! joke #15
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing in my house? joke # 16
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
I love.
I love who?
I don't know, you tell me! joke #17
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ketchchup
Ketchchup who?
Kethchup to me and I will tell you. joke #18
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry. It's only a joke. joke # 19
Knock Knock
Who's there !
One !
One who ?
One-der why you keep asking that ? joke #20
Knock Knock
Who's there !
One !
One who ?
One-derful day, isn't it ? joke #21
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Who!
Who who ?
You sound like an owl ! joke #22
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Wicked !
Wicked who ?
Wicked go for long walks together ! joke #23
that was all the the knock knock jokes so far next is school jokes
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet! joke #24
Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon joke #25
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math! joke #26
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School! joke #27
Who should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal! joke #28
Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level. joke #29
thats all of school joke so far next is jokes that are well super funny
Q: What gets bigger the more you take away?
A: A hole! joke # 30
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken !! joke # 31
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the raccoon it could be done !! joke #32
Why do candle trimmers work so few days a week?
They only work on wick-ends! joke #33
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side !!!! joke #34
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station!!! joke #35
How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
You bump your nose on the ceiling !! joke #36
What did the sea say to the sand?
Nothing, it just waved! joke #37
Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies. joke #38
Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies. joke #39
Q: What is a little dog's favorite drink?
A: Pupsi-cola. joke #40
Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
A: He's all-right now! joke # 41
Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam joke # 42
Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo joke #43
Why are giraffes necks so long?
So it will reach it's head joke #44
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide! joke # 45
What goes around the yard, but stays in the corner ?
A stamp!! joke #46
What is the laziest mountain in the world?
Mount Ever - rest !! joke #47
What is always slow to come, but never actually happens?
Tomorrow joke #48
Why does a traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in front of so many people !!! joke #49
Why did the bald man put rabbits on his head ?
Someone said that from a distance they looked like hairs !!!! joke #50
What did the policeman say to his tummy ?
You're under 'a Vest' !!!!!!!!!! joke #51
Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaners don't have long enough cords!! joke #52
Why was Cinderella kicked off the cricket team?
She always ran away from the ball !! joke #53
There were three guys they don't know anything about english. One of the guys went to a restarant to learn how to say" meemeemeemeemeemee" The other guy went to another restarant to learn how to say" A fork and a knife". The last guy went to a candy store to learn how to say "I love that food". One day there was a dead man the three guys were there the cop said who killed him the first guy said meemeemeemee the cop asked with what the second guy said a fork and a knife. the cop said you guys are going to jail the last guy said I love that food. joke #54
Ten Green HandGrenades hanging on the wall,
Ten Green HandGrenades hanging on the wall,
and if one Green HandGrenade should accidently fall,There'll be no green Handgrenades and no brick wall !!! joke #55
Brother : Wow sis, you're pretty dirty!
Sister: I'm even prettier when I'm clean !! joke # 56
Sanjay : What is the height of stupidity?
Vijay : I don't know, how tall are you ? joke #57
Teacher : If you had 16 sweets, and Sanjay asked you for 10, how many would you have left ?
Vijay : Sixteen !! joke #58
Meeta: Why are you so upset?
Lata: My teacher just yelled at me for something I didn't do !
Meeta: What ?
Lata: My Homework... joke #59
Customer: Waiter ! Waiter ! Theres a fly in my soup !!
Waiter: Don't worry Sir, the spider in your salad will get it !!joke # 60
"There were 3 strings and they wanted to go to a restaraunt for supper. The first string went in and the waiter looked at him and said "Are you a string?" and the string said "yes" so the waiter said "I'm sorry. We don't serve strings." The second string came in and the waiter looked at him and said "Are you a string?" and the string said "yes" so the waiter said "I'm sorry. We don't serve strings." Then the third string tied himself in a knot and frayed the ends. He walked into the restaraunt and the waiter looked him up and down and said "Are you a string?" and the string said "No I'm a frayed knot (afaid not)." joke #61
What do you call a witch made of sand?
A sandwitch joke #62
What goes TICK TOC , WOOF , TIC TOCK , WOOF?
A watch dog! joke #63
Teacher: Sam, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Sam: No, teacher, it's the same dog! joke # 64
Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Sam: No comb, sir. joke #65
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Sam: No hair, sir. joke #66
Teacher: What's the chemical formula for water?
Sam: "HIJKLMNO".
Teacher: What?!
Sam: Yesterday you said it's H to O! joke #67
Teacher: If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 on the other, what would I have?
Class: Big Hands!!!!!! joke #68
In Sam's house :
Father: Your teacher says she finds it's impossible to teach you anything!
Sam: That's why I say she's no good!
Father: Sam, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her.
Sam: (to the aunt) Aunt, I'm sorry you're stupid.
Sam: Mom, teacher was asking me today if I've any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.
Mom: That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear.
So what did she say when you told her you're the only child, my dear?
Sam: She just said ... 'Thanks goodness!'
Sam: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: I think so, what do you want me to write?
Sam: Your name on my report card.
Doctor: I've "bad news" and "very bad news" for you.
Patient: Well, might be better give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results.
They said you've 24 hours to live.
Patient: What?! 24 hours! That's terrible!
What could be even worse then? Tell me the very bad news.
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. joke # 69
i am going to edit to put more
Do not post more jokes on this thread.
Each new joke must be posted on its own new thread or you will be disqualified!!~ballerina
Subject: Re: For The Peace Bear contest -You Must post in this thread only!! 
Sat Jun 19, 2010 9:09 pm
