For The Peace Bear contest -You Must post in this thread only!!

Q. What comes once in a year, but twice in a week?????????????


A. The letter 'e'.




Answer:
e
year=y+ e +ar
week=w+ ee +k

Question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

To get to the other side.

What am I thinking of?

It's not eggs,
it is rude,
it is round,
it is not wrong,
it is red,
it is not alive,
it is not loud,
it is not breakable,
it is ripp-able.



Answer: The letter R.

Question:

Which driver can't drive car?

Answer:


A Screwdriver.

Question:

What is yellow, black, and white?

Answer:

Scrambled eggs with salt and pepper.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator?

A: Open the door and put it in!

Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?

A: Open the door, take the giraffe out!

Question:

What has i's but cant see???



Answer:

Mississippi!!

Question:

Five copycats were in a car.
One jumped out.

How many were left?

Answer:

None. (They all copied the first one!)

Question:

If the clock shows '1';
It is one o'clock.

If the clock shows '13';

What time is it??


Answer:

Time to repair your clock.

Question:

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Answer:

Lean Beef.

Question:

What weighs a ton forward but not backward?

Answer:

ton--not

Question:

What do you get when you cross a pig with a karate fighter?

Answer:

A pork chop.

Question:

What did the coffin say to the other coffin?.....

Answer:

Is that you coughin'?!?

Question:

OK, There are two cliffs - the only thing connecting them is a rope, and the rope has a basket. The basket can only hold you and one item.

The items are a fox, a chicken, and chicken food.

How do you get them from one cliff to the other, without the fox eating the chicken and without the chicken eating the chicken food?






Answer:

First you bring the chicken over. Then you go back without the chicken.

Then you bring the chicken food over and bring the chicken back.

Then bring the fox over leave him there and go get the chicken!

Question:

There was a man with two sons. Each son weighed 40 pounds. The man weighed 80 pounds. They had a boat that could carry 80 pounds.

They wanted to get to the other side of a river. Their boat only could carry 80 pounds.

How did they cross to the other side?

Answer:

First the sons crossed then one son came back. The son got out and the man got in.

The man rowed to the other side.

He got out and the son on the side with man got in the boat and rowed to his brother.

The other son got in the boat and rode with his brother to the other side!

Question:

What do you call an old snowman?


Answer:

Water!

What is pink and fluffy?
-Pink fluff


What is blue and fluffy?
-Blue fluff


What is white and fluffy?
-A cloud!

Question:
One day, there was a meeting in the jungle. All the animals attended the meeting except one.

What animal missed the meeting?


Answer:
The giraffe, because it was in the fridge.

Question:
One boy tried to cross a river which was full of crocodiles just by swimming...he managed to reach the other side safely.

How was it possible?


Answer:
The crocodile went to the jungle meeting.

Question:

What did the Lion say when it saw the lion hunter in a jeep?


Answer:

Meals on wheels.

Person: "Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!"

Doctor: "Oh, pull yourself together."

Question: What do you call a girl who stands under the roof during the rain?



Answer: "Miss-understanding"

Q. There are four men in boat the boat sank and the men sank to the bottom of the lake, yet not one single man got wet.
Why?


A. They were all married - not single.

Q. I have a foot but it doesn't get cold, I have four legs but I can't walk, I have a head but I can't talk.

What am I?


A. I'm a bed!